Gongxi! Happy Chinese New Year!
Today I am making a decision again to set aside blogging here... so that I could focus on my health. I want to be healthy and fit, perhaps become a disciplined athlete, and I have realised once again that there are things I have to let go or sacrifice so I could achieve something I really want. It is indeed a feat to multi-task and I know I can do that, but in my case, whenever I do it, my output is somehow unsatisfactory to me, like I could do better or more.
It really hit me that I can't write regularly anymore, obviously by looking at how my toy blog is doing, but more so, when I tried to keep a journal recently and I was only able to fill in a few pages for a week. I couldn't keep going, and keeping a record of how my days went feel quite ridiculous or awkward now, unlike when I was still in school. I have accepted the fact that I am not the most consistent person ever and there will be setbacks when when I am working on something, but for this particular task of documenting the things in my life I was grateful for each day, I just resigned after a few days without any regret.
There are days when the task of blogging again looms in my head, but when I blog, I don't want to do it anymore out of guilt just because I slacked off. So right here, I'm putting my foot down, that if I can't blog regularly and out of joy or inspiration then I'd rather not waste time wishing I could, or beating myself for not doing it.
I still like writing. In fact, I wouldn't use my time writing this at all if I have completely given up, but as I have mentioned earlier, there are just some stuff I have to give up if I am working on something that I really want to achieve. I want to feel better about myself. I accept myself for who I am, but I know I can change physically and improve how I feel. It is never too late!
I still like dolls, don't get me wrong! I do, but right now I'm choosing to cut back on things I think that do not relate as much to my current goal, and one of these things is toy blogging. I still maintain my Instagram account for toys though because for some reason, posting a photo with short caption is so easy and doable for me. I could post about something on there, add a few hashtags and boom, I'm done, my account is updated, and people signed on there still know I'm alive, haha.
I still need to finish some personal doll-related projects, but writing about the whole process is not my priority anymore, not right now. And when I do finish, I can go full-force on what I want to work on, and that is myself! I am excited. This decision makes me feel liberated, like I am starting with a clean slate. This may or may not have something to do with the Konmari method of tidying things, lol. Sorry, I love that method and it did change my life, and I guess I've become braver to face what I need and want to do head-on. I mean, I've also started learning a new language, too. It isn't directly related to getting physically fit, but I feel good learning something new and that's good for my brain. I am fluent in two languages (Filipino and English), and I've learned the basics of two more when I was in school (Japanese and Mandarin Chinese). Now I'm learning Magyar! It's Hungarian, of all languages!!!
This hiatus is indefinite. I don't know when I can come back to write often, but I'm still on Instagram every now and then and that's good enough for me, at least for now.